"Really? English?"

Here is a piece written from one of the special people in our community. Hope has discovered something she wished to share with the people around us and hopefully this enlightens you too. Thank you for your time.

Hope- Now that it’s senior year, there’s a lot of pressure since we all have to figure out what college we’re going to and especially what area we’ll be studying. Many people will be jumbling ideas on what to study and many will want to pursue a major they enjoy. The problem is, during this process, we’ll encounter many individuals with negative, ignorant, and discouraging comments/opinions. These individuals may for some reason think these comments are helpful for us to come to a decision, but in reality, they’re really not.

‪Lately, I've noticed that when I tell people who ask what I'm majoring in college that I want to major in English, it's always a comment like "really, English?”, "well, it's a start," "oh that's uh new but I feel like you’ll end up changing your major" or even a sarcastic remark like "good luck finding a job after college”.

Why or how do people think that saying these things are in any way encouraging? Yes, I understand that they may think they’re “helping” or that they’re just giving an honest opinion, but that’s besides the point. We are young adults about to embark on a new chapter in our lives confidently since we’re going to study an area we’re interested in and the last thing we need to hear is, “you’re going to be poor the rest of your life.”

Nowadays, there’s this stigma about certain fields of work and people automatically assume you're not going to make any money unless you're a doctor, business person, engineer, etc. (There's absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing these fields as a career, it's a great career choice but it's not everyone's cup of tea). Yet, we're told to do whatever makes us happy and what we're passionate about. However, once we begin to follow through with that, we're shot down and told otherwise which is very hypocritical.

Some people just need to keep their comments to themselves and need to understand their comments aren't "helping.” They're just discouraging people who want to pursue their dream and what they’re passionate about!! In the end, as long as you have a degree in something, you're most likely going to find a job somewhere.

For me, I used to care about what people think and I used to take people's comments about my major to heart. People’s negative comments would make me incredibly discouraged to the point where I would be questioning and second guessing myself. However, after a lot of thinking and talks with people who support me, I’ve realized I'm going into English because it's what I ENJOY. I enjoy reading and writing and it's what I'm good at!! I’m not going into medicine or business when I'm not good at math or science because by doing so, I'm basically setting myself up for failure and to be miserable since it's not what I enjoy or see myself doing in the future!!

SO FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO PURSUE A CAREER THEY'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT, DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY ABOUT IT OR YOUR MAJOR. YOU DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, IT’S YOUR LIFE AND YOU PURSUE WHAT YOU ENJOY MOST.

Gender Roles

Arisnelly: Sex refers to the biological differences between the two sexes - chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture depict to be masculine or feminine. Society's perception of modern day gender presentation has changed substantially and is constantly shifting, as the four fun-facts below illustrate.

1. Pink used to be considered a "boy color" and blue a "girl color". 

   

   Pastels became popularized in the early 1900s when a retail trade publication tried to distinguish between the two sexes with colors. "Being a more decided and stronger color, [pink] is more suitable for the boy," the article stated, "while [blue], which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."

2. High heels were designed and created for men, being deemed as "masculine" for a century. 

   

   To protect the foot in its strap while shooting an arrow from a saddle, Persian soldiers used to sport high-heeled shoes while horseback riding. This simple gesture amused the European elite, who went on to endorse the horsemen's masculine footwear for their own fashionable purposes in the 1600s.

3. Lace was considered a "manly" fabric for the upper-class. 

   

   Like the aforementioned high-heeled shoe, lace began to catch on in the European market around the 16th century. It was complicated and elaborate in its design, taking over ten hours to produce (with a price to match all of the hard work it took). Up until the 18th century, mainly "aristocratic, upper class" men wore it.

4. Cheerleading began as a Boys' Club, because it was too "manly" for girls. 

   

   The first alleged cheerleader was University of Minnesota student, Johnny Campbell, who was able to gain the confidence of a 1898 football crowd to follow his chanting lead. Campbell's legacy was preserved by Dwight D. Eisenhower, Franklin Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan -- former U.S. presidents who also happened to be cheerleaders.
   
   
   Gender roles are only a representation of society's ideals and expectations, and should never define who you are as an individual.
   

   

Sadia: As a brown girl growing up in a what can be very constrictive culture, it has made me feel suffocated. I sometimes feel like I am trapped in a box that is defined by patriarchy which decides what my role and purpose is as a female. The idea of men and women having specific roles in daily life is seen everyday in outward sexism, but is especially highlighted when I speak about ambition and goals for the future. More times than I can count, I have been told that my ultimate goal in life should be to marry a nice brown guy and have kids. There’s nothing wrong with being married or having a family, but being told that from the age of 10 -- which is as early as I can remember -- makes me feel as though I have been raised to be married. I have been molded to believe that my needs and wants should not take precedent over my future families, and that my ultimate purpose in life is to be a caretaker.  However, I have noticed that this idea of marriage and home life is not sewn into boys my age. They are instead told to study hard in school, and follow the typical Indian stereotype of becoming an engineer or get a degree in IT. Trapping young minds in the stifling constraints of outdated culture serves nobody. This culture, which is (slowly) progressing with the millennial generation, has many boundaries to break and many uncomfortable conversations to be had with parents who will come to realize that their daughters are not born to be wives and provide them with grandchildren. Gender roles in all cultures, especially for women, have been used as weapons of control against females who have the brains and willpower to be just as great as men. It is the fear of change and progressiveness which prevents a society from practicing equality amongst men and women. It’s up to the men of this generation to reject conventional roles, as women work to break glass ceilings and rise above what holds them down.

Gender Roles from the Male Perspective!

There are unwritten rules and roles in society. Ideas and customs people are expected to accept and embrace without question. But it is 2017. A time where everything is questioned and analyzed. For example, what separates men and  women? What should be expected of your partner, whether they are the same sex or different? More importantly, why do we take these expectations without asking what their true purpose is?

Prince: Men dominate. Men conquer. Men don’t quit.The ultimate goal for men is to reach alpha male status. As a young adult approaching the responsibilities of a man, it comes with conventional rules and expectations that are counter-intuitive in providing oneself with happiness and security. The stereotypical man is someone who plays sports, works with their hands, and puts all melodramatic feelings out of sight. These traits raise the question: what gives the man the right to abide by these rules? And more importantly, who put them into action? Maybe it's in our DNA.

Ahmed: “Who says?” Is a question I always find myself asking. Who made these requirements and guidelines that we abide by? Who told us that we have to live and conform ourselves to a certain manner? Questions such as this, still remain a mystery today. Unfortunately, we live in a world where implicit rules and regulations tell us how to live. These regulations tell us how to act and how to conduct ourselves, and we just allow it. We accept it because society instructs us to. We accept it because we’ve been shown no other way. We say “ well, that’s just the way things work.” But why? Why aren’t we searching for the hidden meanings? Why don’t we want to know who’s controlling our lives? Why don’t we live the way we want to live? Society tells us that men aren’t allowed to shed tears. Men aren’t allowed to show emotion and feelings. Men aren’t allowed to show empathy. We’ve been taught that when a man wears or says something that doesn't appear ‘manly’ to society; to automatically question and belittle his manhood. Why? Who made the injunction that delegates this action. Who made the decree that men aren’t allowed to wear pink? Who made the decree that men aren’t allowed to pour their heart out or ‘vent’ to another. Real men wear pink, and real men definitely express their feelings.

Nissim: Society taught me that a real man is someone who doesn’t complain. Someone who works without question. A real man takes care of his wife and kids. A real man accepts whatever is going on in life and deals with it accordingly. Some of these ideals can be helpful but others are not. A real man is not supposed to cry. A real man does not talk about his emotions. Who gets to define what makes an individual a man? Your father because he is one? Your mother because she has a certain expectation on how a male is to treat her?

Lindsay: Speaking from a child whose mother potty-trained him and accompanied him in every recreational soccer game, etc. As a child, I didn’t have a father figure to look up so, my mom assumed the roles of both mom and dad. But, what are those roles? Men have been painted in society to fit a specific canvas, but not a mural. By that, I signify that men cannot be categorized by certain roles, where you can have the capacity to encompass all of them. In times, men are the ones that carry the heavy bags, drive the car, do maintenance jobs. Where is the official rulebook? Now, what really makes a man, a man? As men, we feel like we have to fulfill those ridiculous standards in order to be considered a man by others. We allow ourselves to be entrapped in this mental prism, where society demands us to be strong, tough, unemotional, athletic, etc. The term “real man” should not even exist, in my opinion. I see it as just being a human who contributes to a relationship, partnership, or family and does the right thing. If we perpetuate those terms, can gender equality be reached? Ask yourself that. You decide who you want to be, which does not have to fall under any gender, because it is up to your interpretation to be YOU.

 We Want to Find Out What You Think!

Feel Free to Comment Below to Voice Your Opinion!

Struck by Love?...

Love, The Best Feeling of All Time

Nick: When you're in love, you get this feeling that you have with a person that you've never experienced before… and sometimes you don't even realize it. It's like every time you think of this person, talk to this person, look at this person, you get this same feeling over and over that you can't explain. This feeling is repeated every time you're with this person. Every day, you experience this feeling continuously, and they're the only person you have this feeling for. Every time you see this person, all you think about is wanting to conquer the world with him/her… desiring to explore the universe and love them till the end of time. Eventually, there comes a point where if there's a fight or an argument or something, you may lose sight of this feeling, but you hold onto this same feeling you had with them because you've never felt it for someone before, and you know you still feel it for them. No matter how heated things get you still hold onto this feeling and want to continue to experience it because it's the only feeling that truly makes you feel happy. This feeling is love.

No matter how much people talk bad about you or say shit to you or ask dumb questions about your relationship or whatever it is, you do what you can to ignore them. Because you know that you have this feeling for someone that you haven't had before, and they wouldn't understand the amount of power this feeling has.

This feeling is insanely confusing. Sometimes you don't want to feel it, you don't want to admit it, and you don't want to see you feel this way for someone because you feel like it's such a big step, such a commitment. But in reality the love was there the WHOLE time, it just grew gradually and inevitably. Soon enough, it’ll get to the point (if it hasn't already) where you have so much love for this person that you have to admit it because no matter how you look at it... you have this same feeling that gets more and more intense for this person. And that's the thing, maybe we don't know what love is… not exactly. But this feeling for a person is a damn good guess as to what love is. Because this same feeling is so confusing and overwhelming and takes up our whole mind and heart to the point where we are like, “This has to be love, because I'm truly obsessed with this person. I can't get this feeling out of me no matter how hard I try.”

When you're in love you do not see the flaws in the person you are in love with, and you may not realize how they change over time because you constantly hold onto the feeling and happiness they gave you from square one. So when they do change... and they do reveal their flaws more and more... you don't want to listen to anyone else if they point it out because all you see in your eyes is the person you fell in love with who gives you happiness. Love truly is blind. You love blindly and you hold onto this feeling of happiness constantly. But when they turn around and hurt you and screw you over... then you realize how blind you were… how willing you were to give them all your love when they had other intentions. You were too in love and "blind" to realize what was happening, and once you did it was too late because there was no turning back... they were set on hurting you and leaving you. It can be taken so many ways but those ways are exactly what it means. Love is blind.

Lindsay: Sometimes, I ask how the world continues to revolve, despite the conflicts that keep destroying the world by storm. All these floods that tried to drown me, were suppressed by the right support system that kept me in balance. Throughout my life, I was accustomed to not share my thoughts with others, as I believed it would make me superior. It was a false sign of happiness for the depression that consumed me. But one day, I got this midnight epiphany to meet people who appreciate, interpret the ideas that bubbled in my mind, and bounce back ideas organically. Fast forward 2017! The person you are reading through this blog, is NOT me, but the billion of ideas that have diffused into my mind from those that have inspired me. They reminded me of the mission that remained unactivated during my darkest times, but now it is the only perceivable destination through my vision.

The closing lines of one of my first poems, was “Used to let the teardrop go silent / Now, I make the pen cry on paper.” The passion behind those  teardrops now resonate through the interpretations of others through my poems. That motivates me to continue writing and remember what I’m doing it for: to change the world. The point I’m trying to make here is that love and relationships can take you on a train to undiscovered scenes that you never expected you’ll reach during your hardships. Having someone to spill your emotions, ask for suggestions on your career path, art, decisions, etc, and also improve because they’re going to be honest with you. Why? Because if they really love you, they want to see you GROW. They also recognize your unlocked potential and criticize what you put out. since we all have something to offer to the world. Eventually, you can find yourself, reinforce what is your purpose in life, and express who you truly are to the real world. Most importantly, love is a MUTUAL investment of support. Don’t be in a relationship just for the simple matter of being in a relationship, or like someone because they’re attractive. Measure one’s attractiveness through the visions transparent in their eyes. You have to set the purpose of having a relationship or friendship with somebody, because you are on the rise to construct the best version of yourself. You both should have a common purpose and a strong, spiritual connection, despite the lack of acceptance from your parents, others’ hate on you, setbacks you went through together.

If your homies aren’t listening to your music, if they’re not reading your blog posts (cough cough), if they get bored when you’re talking to them about something you’re passionate about, then you have to go DAT WAY →. They have to be there in every step in your journey.  Therefore, if your partner pushes you to make wrong decisions or distracts you from your aspirations, then you should move on. As Kenneth G. Ortiz said, “Be wary of the company you keep for they are the reflection of who you are, or who you want to be.”

Just remember, there are 7.4 billion people in this world. The close-knitted relationships we build are needed so we can learn from each other. Explore the world, meet new people, and build on the connection of your loved ones. We need each other. It’s a basic necessity that keeps you alive, other than the food, water, and shelter. We in a new age where we should value mental engagement over sexual penetration. Now, it’s time for me to make love and hopefully it’ll penetrate to H.E.R. I Love H.E.R. Highest Energy Receptors.

Hope you guys enjoyed your Valentine's Day!

Sex...Is It Worth the Wait?

Sex?

“ How do you feel about waiting for sex in a relationship? “

    Sex. The concept that brings life into the world. The action that is the ultimate form of intimacy for some and a simple form of pleasure for others. Sex is a widely discussed topic whether it be from how sex is portrayed in the media, to how sex affects personal relationships. We posed the question “is sex worth the wait?” to some of our members, and here are our thoughts. Don’t hesitate to chime in with your own:

Ahmed: Is sex worth waiting for? The billion dollar question that remains a mystery amongst society today. Sex is everywhere and is spreading faster than a catholic rabbit. Sex has become a competition, a race even. Especially speaking from a guy’s point of view.  Sex is obviously a basic human need. After all, our true purpose of being on this earth results from sex. However, when it comes down to the question, my answer depends on the mindset and the intentions of the individual’s in the relationship. Curious to know what I meant by that? I mean that most people engage in making their significant other participate in a time restriction for sex. They do this to ensure that their partner isn’t just using them for their own endeavors. They do this to make sure their heart isn't being broken. To make sure their time isn’t being wasted. For example, I believe waiting.. Let’s say five months.. Is no different from sleeping together on the first date. It may sound extremely foolish and absurd, but just hear me out, give me a chance to explain myself. I believe you can have sex with someone on the very first night of ever hanging out, and end up being together forever. The connection, the feelings and the vibes could automatically be there. It could feel like you’ve known each other you’re entire lives. That’s usually where you're struck with the “ Where have you been all my life?” On the other hand, you made your partner wait all this time, thinking they were different and would never do you wrong. To your surprise, after those long & hard five months of abstinence, you finally give in and they leave you immediately after anyway. All that time for what? The point I’m trying to make is, making someone wait for sex doesn't solidify their true intentions with you. If it happens, it happens; but you shouldn’t enter a relationship with the end goal being ‘sex’. For me, it’s worth the wait, depending on what you truly want.

Nissim: Sex is lit. Having sex with someone you actually have feelings for is even more lit. But sex should never be the cornerstone of a relationship. You should never stay in an unhealthy relationship because the sex game too fire. You should never pressure your partner into anything they don’t want to do. If you are mature enough to decide to have sex, you’re mature enough to realize your actions have consequences and you need to handle those consequences responsibly. Wait for sex if you want too. You know yourself better than anyone else could but understand how your decision affects your partner. Communicate about it. Please, if you decide to comment on someone else’s sex life, remember nobody asked for your opinion. Mind your business. If someone’s sex life has nothing to do with you, it has nothing to do with you. Nobody should be attacked for how they view sex or how free they are with their OWN sexuality. Just don’t be out here giving STI’s/STD’s to people like lollipops because that’s just rude. & Ya nasty.

Lindsay: From the lens of a virgin, sex is not really what it is all glossed it up for. I don't want to see myself as innocent neither was I ever pressured to do it. The reason why I’ve never threw myself in the field, is because of the constant questioning I have for its purpose. Some may see it as an escape from what we go through daily, a way to seek pleasure, or just a way to express love. But at this age, what are you really searching for? But also is it worth the wait? We're teenagers. We’re confused about concepts and it takes experience to fully teach us. We have to maximize our productivity now to develop us to our potential. But, we have to do it with a purpose. If you don't, what are you really getting from it? So let's fast forward. You've had sex and you transition into a relationship. Now, sex should be the last destination in your mind because you know the in’s and out’s of it. You should try to profoundly engage in your partner’s mind before you dive into the bed. Get in a spiritual connection and I'll assure you it'll be more enjoyable. It'll probably keep the relationship on full throttle, without taking any speed bumps. There's so much to live in life, so do it right while you're at it. If you just do it without establishing no connection, then the sex would be boring because there's no underlying purpose. As you move on to partner to partner, it'll be boring as well because it is the first step you see. In all actuality, sex cannot validate a relationship. It's an intimate event that complements the connection you've established with that person already. This goes to males and females: Don't try to lower your self-esteem to satisfy “Oh, let's have sex so I know it's real” or any irrelevant statement they throw at you. Value yourself and remember, don't think love is *“undressing and caressing" ("World in your Pocket, Joey Badass).  Just know, you can interpret any purpose out of sex.

Prince: Who doesn’t love sex? It’s the uncontrollable desire that every person in this world eventually feels, no matter sexual preference. With the emergence of the 20th century, the world has seen a largely promoted sexualized society. From tight dresses(for the guys) to grey sweatpants(for the girls), we all can’t resist the urge of “looking down there.” The best part about sex is the pleasure. The transfer of vibrations from one another makes you feel like you want to be stuck in the moment forever. From that point on, you guys belong to each other. You no longer have the obligation to engage in sexual activities with anyone else but the person that now possesses your energy particles. It’s an emotional bonding between you two; a memory was created. What a wonderful fantasy isn’t it? Do memories even matter anymore? Consider the way sex is propagated through social media. Would you agree that memories are now undervalued? Sex has become a “I’m-in-it-for-myself” scheme for many. In other words, and I’m speaking from a guy’s point-of-view, we see sex as just another opportunity to satisfy our egocentric desires. We could CARELESS about the emotions of our partner, but rather focus on how they compare to the rest of the females we’ve been with. Since when did sex become a competition? In my eyes, I’ve always seen sexual intercourse as an emotional engagement between two individuals who genuinely share a mutual bond with each other. I guess times have changed. I guess men and women alike have no regard to create vivid, long-lasting memories that they can actually be proud of and embrace rather than try to overshadow it by looking for better opportunities through other people. But that’s my two cents. To answer the question, yes I WOULD wait for sex, given that I was waiting on the right person.

What's your take on waiting for sex or the concept of sex in general? We're interested in getting your input! 

Comment below!

What's Next?

Nissim & Ahmed: One thing across all ages of life, that cannot be debated, is how uncertain and unpredictable things are. Whether a senior in high school or a middle aged balding male, life will throw whatever it wants too in your path. There’s absolutely no way around that. The unpredictability may not bother some, but may be a source of intense stress for others. Not having things mapped out while your peers or people around expect you to, may be something you dread. Just because you don’t see the yellow brick road others might see, does not mean you’re never going to find the road to take you where you want to be in life.

Don’t fall for the BS they feed you. Never compare your own life goals and successes to another person. No matter how much some may glamourize their lifestyle and future plans; it's impossible for anybody to have every step of their life figured out. It’s false, it's a charade. Don’t let that discourage you from forming your own plan and gnaw at your intent to stick to it. Just keep in mind, life throws breaks for nobody. Anybody and everybody can get it.

Nissim: As a seniors in high school, we are often asked what school we intend to go to and what major we would like to pursue. In my sophomore year, my answer was “I don’t know yet but maybe something having to do with English.” Unsurprisingly, I was filled with uncertainty but I felt like I had all the time in the world to figure out what I wanted to do. In the end, all I wanted was to be living lavish with someone cutting the little green things off strawberries and feeding them to me. Now in my senior year, I’ve been fortunate enough to go through many opportunities to finally see what I want to make of my future. I want to be a doctor. English and the medical field are leagues apart but that goes to show that nothing is written in stone. Months away from my high school graduation, I finally know what I want to do with my life and I know it will not be easy, but if it was easy, everyone would do it.

Ahmed: As for me, I thought I had life all figured out. I always told myself that I’d play basketball and live the easy life. No ordinary jobs. No ordinary responsibilities. No ordinary work. I wanted to take the easy road to fame and a lavish lifestyle. Reality smacked the shit out of me. Part of me really wanted that because everyone else I knew wanted it, and the other part of me was running away from the challenges and responsibilities, I would inevitably face. I realized I had a ton of potential and desires that I was throwing away for a lifestyle that would've ended up crippling me in the end. A lifestyle I THOUGHT I wanted to live. I had a knack for dumbing myself down and underachieving my first three years of high school. Settling for subpar grades because my response was always “ I’m going to school for basketball, it doesn't matter anyway.” Uncertainty sprung at a time when I truly needed it most. I sat in basketball practice one day completely zoned out, just thinking to myself, “ I don't even want to be here”; “ Why am I doing this right now.” People always referred to me as “ the kid who plays ball”, and that isn’t who I truly am. I look back on that stage of my life as finding out who I really was deep down and what I ultimately want to do. Similar to what Nissim said, I’ve been through so much and experienced life in a variety of different ways in my short 17 years, to finally realize my goal. I want to be GREAT! I want everything! The lifestyle i'm striving for will come from nothing but HARD WORK. As many of you may know by now, that isn’t a problem for me at all. Have to grind now to shine later. #StrivingForGreatness!

It may feel incredibly disheartening to see your friends attack the uncertainty that life presents us, with a clear cut plan. It may hurt to realize you don’t truly know what you want to do in life. It may depress or fill you with anxiety to think about the future. We’ve both been there.  We can promise you that when things finally fall into place with a little effort of your own, the weight on your shoulders will lift and you can take the most relieving breath you have taken in ages. If you need to alter your plan to reach your goals, don’t hesitate and never be afraid of change. Keep one thing in my mind always; If it were easy, everybody would do it. Success is 90% Preparation, and that last 10% is Persistence. The ability to keep going even when you don’t want to should never be underrated. Be ready for the opportunities and chances life gives you and take it head on. You do not need to live to match another’s success, just fulfill yourself, nothing more simpler then that.

Slut-Shaming

Let's talk about sex.

Specifically, slut shaming -- and how we all inadvertently contribute to it.

The Oxford Dictionary of English describes slut-shaming as "the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative". If that term doesn't sound familiar to you, perhaps you've come across it on social media where celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift are targets of relentless online harassment for "posting slutty pictures", and "having too many boyfriend's".

Society does not bash an eyelash at derogatory words such as "slut", "whore" and everyone's new favorite term -- wait for it! -- "thot". We have all become immune to words implemented to shame women for embracing their sexuality and femininity.

Slut-shaming is a sexist action because only women are criticized for their sexuality, whereas men are congratulated for engaging in the same kind of behavior. It is the embodiment of a sexual double standard: boys will be boys, and girls will be sluts.

A false sense of feminine idealism is manifested at a young age for both sexes by the media and other sources they are exposed to -- women are expected to be sophisticated and sexually knowing, otherwise they run the risk of being deemed unfeminine and irrelevant.

Celebrities are not the only people who have faced the wrath of hell's fury at the hand of slut-shaming; it is a common practice in Hackensack High School as well. The Fappening, an event that took place in April of 2014, was responsible for the illegal publication of private images stored on the iCloud accounts of famous celebrities. Jennifer Lawrence was one out of many females who received a substantial amount of media backlash for having her personal pictures made public -- incidents that happen too often on school ground.

Earlier this year, a friend of mine had intimate pictures of her leaked onto Twitter by a resentful ex-boyfriend. After sharing this harrowing experience with me and a few of our other friends, her first question was: "What do you think of me now?". Rather than worrying about the illegal actions perpetrated by her ex-boyfriend and the morality of the situation, she thought about what almost every female in her position would be thinking -- how she would be perceived for it, because that is what society has subconsciously embedded into our minds; to point the finger at the person preyed upon, instead of the actual assailant.

The effects of slut-shaming are more detrimental than just simple name-calling (although it is clear that being slandered publicly can be a painful experience, as the increase in rate of slut-shamed females proves). As soon as a woman is branded as a "slut" or a "whore", there is the possibility of her being at the receiving end of sexual contempt, which can lead to other heinous crimes, such as assault.

She may become an easy target for other forms of harassment and even rape, being that her peers deemed her as someone who is "easy" and "unable to say no". In 2013, a young girl who was raped at a party in Steubenville, Ohio, was denigrated by the public, given the "drunken slut" label as the people around scrambled to make sense of the severity of the crime. Slut-shaming has been given the unfortunate opportunity of shaping societal dissertation on rape, abuse, and harassment.

Perhaps you are a female reading this article and thinking "none of this applies to me"; a mindset I once had as well. The truth of the matter is that as long as you are female, the possibility of being subjected to discrimination simply because of your sex will always be admissible, until society is able to come to the proper consensus that it is wrong and those who partake in it should be condemned.

Everything begins with us -- the youth that is willing to listen and make some kind of change.

At one point or another, most of us have been guilty of thinking or referring to someone else as a slut. We understand that it is an offensive term, yet still use it anyway due to strong social conditioning. It is crucial that we make ourselves aware of the sexual double standard and refrain from identifying other human beings with a dehumanizing term.

Parents, be open about sexuality with your children. The more you educate your child about sex, the less likely they are to go out and search for the answers themselves.

Teachers, recognize that slut-shaming is a legitimate issue and properly reprimand those who offend others by engaging in it. People should be held accountable for their actions now, in order to ensure that their behavior does not go unwarranted later.

It is not enough to simply have only yourself abstain from that kind of language; we must correct, inform, and educate those around us as well whenever the terminology is used to ban it for good and make a difference. 

It is possible, and it starts with you.

Something to be Afraid of After All?

Something to be Afraid of After All?

by Sophia Wright

I could not breathe. Sitting in my AP Physics class, I could not stop shaking. My leg twitched incessantly. My body went numb, and my vision blurred. Was my teacher saying something to me? If he was, I could not hear him.

High school is the greatest four years of an individual's life, so I'm told. I'm a senior now and these have been the most prolonged, miserable, and insanely stressful four years of my life. Was I lied to? Or is it just me?

Senior year for most kids means taking an easier course load, having a job, joining lots of extra curricular activities to include on applications, getting a car, going to parties, and most importantly, graduating. This is the time to relax and be with friends.

But what about kids like me: anxiety stricken teenagers who have yet to find a place where they feel safe? Senior year is not great. It is a time to sit alone at home, binge eat, stress out about the future, and obsessively count the days left until graduation.

Sure, I have friends but it's still hard to feel like I fit in. I don't have anxiety free relationships with my friends that other people are privileged to have. When I can, I will avoid places or events where I know I'll be forced to interact with people, and I avoid starting conversations with people because what if they're busy? What if I'm bothering them? What if they don't actually like me? What if this is all just a joke? What if everyone is in on it and they've been laughing at me for the past four years?

Anxiety can be challenging to identify, and it is not something to take lightly. It is not easy to "suck it up", "calm down", and "get over it". By definition, anxiety disorders disrupt how your brain controls the signals it uses to identify danger and initiate action to help you avoid it. As a result, people with anxiety experience the feeling of danger when there is no danger present. This leads to an excessive amount of worrying which can cause serious emotional distress, and a lot of problems in that person's life.

Anxiety is difficult not only for the individual who is suffering, but also for people who do not understand its severity. It is very hard to describe the stress that comes with having anxiety. It might not always manifest itself physically, but inside it's like a monster that is trying to claw its way out and destroy you.

Most of the time, it is not easy for a person who has anxiety to seek help from others. To place the overwhelming burden of anxiety onto someone else can inflict huge amounts of guilt onto the person suffering.  This creates a buildup of emotions and an intensified feeling of self hatred that can lead to other serious issues such as self-harm.

So, what can you do to help? Listen, be patient, and remember that reassurance about fear usually does not help. Be a support in your friends' lives. It's not enough to say it, you have to mean it. Spend some time getting to know the boy who sits by himself at lunch, or the girl in your class who doesn't speak. Little things can make the biggest difference.

Living with anxiety is not just terrible-- it's terrifying. Hiding in the shadows for four years, high school has been one big nightmare for me, and senior year is no exception. The pressure is over the top and most of the time I feel ready to give up. But I know I am not the only person suffering from anxiety, and by giving up I would only be giving in to it. It's hard, but I'm trying to get better.

Nothing To Be Afraid Of

There’s Nothing To Be Afraid Of

Ahmed & Nissim: With the many faces, characters, and creativity blossoming inside of Hackensack High, it’s not hard to feel like you don’t fit in or belong. Hackensack houses nearly 2,000 students with large voices and even larger attitudes.  Don’t get us wrong, don’t take that to mean you should just fly under the radar. To all the people who feel like outcasts roaming the halls of HHS, we salute YOU! You are the silent majority that allows Hackensack to be divergent. The kids that aren’t on the football team but rather engage in the school plays. The kids who decorate the walls with fascinating art that is viewed daily. The kids who rather spend the night at home, rather than coming home piss drunk or too high for life. The kids who are comfortable rocking skechers instead of a new pair of Jordans. The kids who are overlooked and underrated because they’re not the funniest or ‘most popular’ person in the classroom. YOU are just as important as anybody else who steps foot inside of this high school, don’t let anyone tell you different!

It’s important to realize that if you are remaining isolated, the people you would most strongly connect to are the ones that are probably remaining hidden as well. The easiest way people lose themselves is from the fear of being alone. The feeling that no one is there for you or that no one truly understands you. We’re here to tell you that it’s ok to take your own path or do your own thing. Have you ever heard the quote by John Mason? “ You were born an original, dont die a copy”.

Hackensack is extremely diverse. A word you’ll encounter an endless amount of times when talking about HHS. Look hard enough and you’ll find someone exactly like you. They may not be in the same social circles as you, but they’re there. Trust us. Accept yourself for who you are and stay secure about that. When you be yourself, the right people will gravitate towards you. Don’t lose yourself trying to please or fit in with others. You’re amazing the way you are. You’re unique. You’re a blessing.  

Teachers often emphasize the significance of joining clubs for various reasons and the average student will say “They’re just chatting, clubs are for lames.”  Clubs will more than likely introduce you to like minded people with similar interests. Human beings need to interact with each other. You ever see Cast Away with Tom Hanks?? The man was talking to a volleyball named Wilson. Don’t be the guy making his own Wilson Volleyball. Socialization is key. Get Involved. Don’t be afraid. Talk to people.

We’ve all seen our fair share of students who have totally given up on their values and beliefs. Those students that let their inner selves take a backseat role to the kid that others wanted them to be, or thought others wanted. The students who give into the stereotypes we spoke on in our last post. Those students that you walk past in the hallway, or follow on social media and say “ They were never like that before” or “ They done got to highschool and completely changed up” yet the most common one of all is, “ They weren’t doing this until they started hanging with so and so”. Think of the student who was never like “that” back in those good old middle school days. Think of the student who is the exact person they promised you and themselves they’d never be. Think of a friend you lost to this misfortune. We all know that person that we just wish we could smack back into reality, into the person they truly are. We all know that person that we wish we could look straight in the eyes and say, “ Stop trying so hard. Be you.”

We clown and look down upon each other so much sometimes we forget to take people’s feelings into account. Of course, jokes are fun but never should you bring someone to the point of wanting to change who they are for the jokes to stop. We as a community need to stop casting people aside and instead begin to include them. We need to understand that we all go to the same school, that we are all part of the same society. The isolation some feel towards Hackensack is probably why school spirit seems to be lacking. Students don’t want to support a school that doesn't support them! Include everybody and everybody will rise together.

Doing What You Love

Prince C. & Nick E. As senior year slowly winds down, many students fall into one of two categories: those who become anxious about their future & those who can’t wait to go on and experience what they envision themselves doing. One of the hardest, yet significant decisions a person makes in life is deciding what career path they should take that would ultimately drive them toward success. Now, there are people out there who live a modest life and are satisfied with a family, car, and job that supports their lifestyle. On the other hand, their are gogetters who don’t settle for less. They are constantly seeking ways to get ahead, whether it be in life or in the workspace. What consolidates these two lifestyles together is the fact that both consist of doing something you love. This is the topic of the post and we’ll share our two cents of what it means to do what you love as well as give personal anecdotes of what we love to do.

Prince C. At the age of around 14, I became obsessed with this producer named Lex Luger. I probably watched every single one of his videos, from his interviews to his live studio sessions on YouTube.  His determination, his craft and creativity, intrigued me to the point where I decided I wanted to make beats. I felt if he could do it, I could do it to. So I downloaded some basic producing software which I don’t think even exist anymore but this is where I really developed my love of making beats. For 5 years, I’ve progressively gotten better(in my opinion) and found more motivation in doing so. Eventually, I moved on to a more professional software, FL Studio, where I was able to become more creative with my skills such a making more complex melodies and drum patterns. Making beats, to me, is something that I do to just kill time. I never really look at it as something I would profit off of, just because I believe there really no money in the rap industry for producers due to the fact that  it is now becoming a lost art with the influx of aspiring producers.  

When I entered high school, I immediately knew I wanted to be rich... I mean who doesn’t? But I wanted to make money while making the world a better place and by this desire alone, I settled on the field of computer science. What started as testing the waters in web design and learning the syntax of HTML, my thirst for mastery of computer science grows exponentially everyday. I feel there is so much potential that can be done with the use of computers and it is seen today with the latest inventions such as Virtual Reality, 3D Printing, and so much more. Being a computer science major requires lots of hardwork and analytical thinking that I never really manifested within myself. However, I try my best everyday to overcome my habits of giving up because in computer science, when you’ve been trying to get a program to work and it finally gives, it is like a virgin diving in pussy for the first time. There has been times where I’d just call it quits and go on Twitter until I fall asleep. But upon waking up, I often disappoint myself because I haven’t improved from the day before which is my ultimate goal in life: get better everyday.

The point I’m trying to prove here is that doing what you love or trying something new that you’re interested in can open up unimaginable opportunities for yourself as well as others. For me, making a beat or creating websites has never felt tedious because I enjoy learning from my mistakes and building on the things that I learn. Looking back, I never thought I’d be in the position that I’m in now. I’ve attended several college events based on my willingness to go out a new things one of which includes a 6-week summer program at Cooper Union. My message to you is: GET OFF THAT PHONE AND TAKE YOUR PASSIONS SERIOUSLY!

Nick E. Since I was in 4th grade, I’ve always enjoyed acting and singing, and I’ve grown to develop an insane passion and love for the both of those things. At the time, I joined my middle school’s chorus and the school play, and I never anticipated how much I would begin to learn from these activities. When I first began acting and singing, I experienced a lot of stage fright. My face would get as red as a tomato just from singing or performing in front of my few friends or peers. However, I realized the only way for me to get over this fear was to keep going, and that’s what I did. Going through middle school, I really began to notice how much I loved performing in the school shows and singing. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t give up on it in high school, and I stuck to that.

Maintaining my interest in acting and singing has truly defined who I am as a person. Because of being involved in theatre, I have become a genuinely nicer person, I am much more friendly with everyone, and I’ve gained so many friends I don’t think I would’ve met if it wasn’t for my involvement in theatre. The theatre program at our school is a family, a community, and we all want to see each other succeed. I am extremely thankful that I became involved in theatre, because I have developed my skills in ways I never thought I would be able to, and I’ve met so many amazing people. I will be honest, not so much anymore, but when I would tell people I was involved in theatre or that I act and sing, I wouldn’t always get the best reactions. In middle school, school bullies would target me solely for this reason, and call me “gay” or a “little choir boy” simply because I enjoy doing these things. Even sort of recently, a grown adult asked a parent I know if I was “gay,” solely basing this accusation off of the fact that I’m involved in acting and singing. Obviously, going into all of this, I knew theatre isn’t the typical field of choice for males, but it was my choice, and I still believe it was the best choice I could have ever made. The incredibly supportive people around me in my life have constantly pushed me to achieve my goals, and I think that is one of the major reasons why I never even second guessed my love for acting and singing. I hope one day, when I make my dreams a reality, I can repay them for all they’ve done for me.

I think my experience can really show others that no matter what, pursue what you love. Don’t worry about what other people think, who likes you or doesn’t like you, who supports your decision or who doesn’t; go do whatever you want to do. Whatever makes YOU happy, is what you should look to do in life. As I continue in life, I do not plan on ever giving up acting or singing, because it’s what I love to do. In the future, whatever career you decide to choose, make sure it is something you can enjoy and love doing every day, so “work” doesn’t actually feel like work. If you’re passionate about something, or if you have a dream, hold on to that, and take it for a ride.

Views From HHS Students

Nissim & Ahmed: Hackensack High School is a public school that can be the model for diversity. The building is full of kids from different backgrounds and cultures. I’m sure whatever ethnicity you feel like searching for inside these walls, you could find. The diversity extends farther than ethnicity. The wealth of students ranges greatly. The school parking lot is an interesting place when you realize it’s full of vehicles ranging from expensive 2015 M5 BMW’s to mid 90’s Toyota Corolla’s. Hackensack is impossible to generalize so simply as a “black high school” or a school for “the stupid kids.” & a huge reason for this is where these students are from.

The “Maywood Kids” are stereotyped as the type of kids who enter Hackensack and try to be down with what they think is the hood. The kids who never touched a blunt in they life until they entered those doors. Kids from Maywood swear Hackensack is the ghetto and as soon as they file through those doors, they try their hardest to fit the stereotype as the “typical Hackensack student.” Maywood kids tend to be seen as the “prude, law abiding” type of people and seem to actively show that is not the case. If Maywood kids could forget about their “reputation” maybe they would see that Hackensack is not about reinventing yourself but embracing who they are fully and without a care about what others may think.

The “Hackensack Kids” are the kids that seem to try the hardest to embody that inner city toughness. Kids who want to make Hackensack similar to the hood. Kids who wanna be gangsters but seem to forget they live in the suburbs. The kids who settle for less and take the great opportunities they've been blessed with for granted. The type of kids to succumb to the foolish idea of the ‘trap’ lifestyle that essentially leads nowhere. Hackensack kids need to abandon this epiphany that they are the toughest kids in the school. They feel this way because they are originally from Hackensack, while all the other students are from “white towns”. They need to focus on what’s truly important; they would see they have as much potential as any other person in the school to be a great and successful student.

The “Rochelle Park Kids” are the kids that may seem “weird” to an individual. Rochelle Park kids have a bad reputation but clearly are the special sort. The kids that are often identified as weird because of their quiet mannerisms. A number of kids from this town tend to enjoy anime and other things that attract a certain crowd. Majority of them are unique in their own way, but aren’t given the chance to express and be themselves in the culture of Hackensack High. They remain to themselves and stay in their closed-friend groups. They are generally misunderstood and when someone takes the time to know one, they always say “I would have never guessed you’re from Rochelle Park.” They might not be the most social but they are important to the makeup of Hackensack High School regardless.

The “South Hackensack Kids” are usually the kids with high goals in high school. The kids who enter as a freshman with the mindset that they are going to keep their eye on the prize of graduation and beyond. These are the kids who come off as a little uppity and snobby as usually they solely focus on school or sports. These are the kids who challenge themselves with loads of advanced courses knowing the benefits it will result in. South Hackensack kids could benefit from relaxing a bit. Of course, no one wants them to relax to the point where they taking their eyes off the prize but to relax and not act like their better or smarter then the next person.

*Of course these are our personalize generalizations and not everybody who comes from these towns are as typed as above. These are just the stereotypes everybody uses involuntarily (or voluntarily) as they attend this school. Don’t catch feelings, everything written above was in good humor.

Nissim & Ahmed.