Something to be Afraid of After All?

Something to be Afraid of After All?

by Sophia Wright

I could not breathe. Sitting in my AP Physics class, I could not stop shaking. My leg twitched incessantly. My body went numb, and my vision blurred. Was my teacher saying something to me? If he was, I could not hear him.

High school is the greatest four years of an individual's life, so I'm told. I'm a senior now and these have been the most prolonged, miserable, and insanely stressful four years of my life. Was I lied to? Or is it just me?

Senior year for most kids means taking an easier course load, having a job, joining lots of extra curricular activities to include on applications, getting a car, going to parties, and most importantly, graduating. This is the time to relax and be with friends.

But what about kids like me: anxiety stricken teenagers who have yet to find a place where they feel safe? Senior year is not great. It is a time to sit alone at home, binge eat, stress out about the future, and obsessively count the days left until graduation.

Sure, I have friends but it's still hard to feel like I fit in. I don't have anxiety free relationships with my friends that other people are privileged to have. When I can, I will avoid places or events where I know I'll be forced to interact with people, and I avoid starting conversations with people because what if they're busy? What if I'm bothering them? What if they don't actually like me? What if this is all just a joke? What if everyone is in on it and they've been laughing at me for the past four years?

Anxiety can be challenging to identify, and it is not something to take lightly. It is not easy to "suck it up", "calm down", and "get over it". By definition, anxiety disorders disrupt how your brain controls the signals it uses to identify danger and initiate action to help you avoid it. As a result, people with anxiety experience the feeling of danger when there is no danger present. This leads to an excessive amount of worrying which can cause serious emotional distress, and a lot of problems in that person's life.

Anxiety is difficult not only for the individual who is suffering, but also for people who do not understand its severity. It is very hard to describe the stress that comes with having anxiety. It might not always manifest itself physically, but inside it's like a monster that is trying to claw its way out and destroy you.

Most of the time, it is not easy for a person who has anxiety to seek help from others. To place the overwhelming burden of anxiety onto someone else can inflict huge amounts of guilt onto the person suffering.  This creates a buildup of emotions and an intensified feeling of self hatred that can lead to other serious issues such as self-harm.

So, what can you do to help? Listen, be patient, and remember that reassurance about fear usually does not help. Be a support in your friends' lives. It's not enough to say it, you have to mean it. Spend some time getting to know the boy who sits by himself at lunch, or the girl in your class who doesn't speak. Little things can make the biggest difference.

Living with anxiety is not just terrible-- it's terrifying. Hiding in the shadows for four years, high school has been one big nightmare for me, and senior year is no exception. The pressure is over the top and most of the time I feel ready to give up. But I know I am not the only person suffering from anxiety, and by giving up I would only be giving in to it. It's hard, but I'm trying to get better.

Nothing To Be Afraid Of

There’s Nothing To Be Afraid Of

Ahmed & Nissim: With the many faces, characters, and creativity blossoming inside of Hackensack High, it’s not hard to feel like you don’t fit in or belong. Hackensack houses nearly 2,000 students with large voices and even larger attitudes.  Don’t get us wrong, don’t take that to mean you should just fly under the radar. To all the people who feel like outcasts roaming the halls of HHS, we salute YOU! You are the silent majority that allows Hackensack to be divergent. The kids that aren’t on the football team but rather engage in the school plays. The kids who decorate the walls with fascinating art that is viewed daily. The kids who rather spend the night at home, rather than coming home piss drunk or too high for life. The kids who are comfortable rocking skechers instead of a new pair of Jordans. The kids who are overlooked and underrated because they’re not the funniest or ‘most popular’ person in the classroom. YOU are just as important as anybody else who steps foot inside of this high school, don’t let anyone tell you different!

It’s important to realize that if you are remaining isolated, the people you would most strongly connect to are the ones that are probably remaining hidden as well. The easiest way people lose themselves is from the fear of being alone. The feeling that no one is there for you or that no one truly understands you. We’re here to tell you that it’s ok to take your own path or do your own thing. Have you ever heard the quote by John Mason? “ You were born an original, dont die a copy”.

Hackensack is extremely diverse. A word you’ll encounter an endless amount of times when talking about HHS. Look hard enough and you’ll find someone exactly like you. They may not be in the same social circles as you, but they’re there. Trust us. Accept yourself for who you are and stay secure about that. When you be yourself, the right people will gravitate towards you. Don’t lose yourself trying to please or fit in with others. You’re amazing the way you are. You’re unique. You’re a blessing.  

Teachers often emphasize the significance of joining clubs for various reasons and the average student will say “They’re just chatting, clubs are for lames.”  Clubs will more than likely introduce you to like minded people with similar interests. Human beings need to interact with each other. You ever see Cast Away with Tom Hanks?? The man was talking to a volleyball named Wilson. Don’t be the guy making his own Wilson Volleyball. Socialization is key. Get Involved. Don’t be afraid. Talk to people.

We’ve all seen our fair share of students who have totally given up on their values and beliefs. Those students that let their inner selves take a backseat role to the kid that others wanted them to be, or thought others wanted. The students who give into the stereotypes we spoke on in our last post. Those students that you walk past in the hallway, or follow on social media and say “ They were never like that before” or “ They done got to highschool and completely changed up” yet the most common one of all is, “ They weren’t doing this until they started hanging with so and so”. Think of the student who was never like “that” back in those good old middle school days. Think of the student who is the exact person they promised you and themselves they’d never be. Think of a friend you lost to this misfortune. We all know that person that we just wish we could smack back into reality, into the person they truly are. We all know that person that we wish we could look straight in the eyes and say, “ Stop trying so hard. Be you.”

We clown and look down upon each other so much sometimes we forget to take people’s feelings into account. Of course, jokes are fun but never should you bring someone to the point of wanting to change who they are for the jokes to stop. We as a community need to stop casting people aside and instead begin to include them. We need to understand that we all go to the same school, that we are all part of the same society. The isolation some feel towards Hackensack is probably why school spirit seems to be lacking. Students don’t want to support a school that doesn't support them! Include everybody and everybody will rise together.

Doing What You Love

Prince C. & Nick E. As senior year slowly winds down, many students fall into one of two categories: those who become anxious about their future & those who can’t wait to go on and experience what they envision themselves doing. One of the hardest, yet significant decisions a person makes in life is deciding what career path they should take that would ultimately drive them toward success. Now, there are people out there who live a modest life and are satisfied with a family, car, and job that supports their lifestyle. On the other hand, their are gogetters who don’t settle for less. They are constantly seeking ways to get ahead, whether it be in life or in the workspace. What consolidates these two lifestyles together is the fact that both consist of doing something you love. This is the topic of the post and we’ll share our two cents of what it means to do what you love as well as give personal anecdotes of what we love to do.

Prince C. At the age of around 14, I became obsessed with this producer named Lex Luger. I probably watched every single one of his videos, from his interviews to his live studio sessions on YouTube.  His determination, his craft and creativity, intrigued me to the point where I decided I wanted to make beats. I felt if he could do it, I could do it to. So I downloaded some basic producing software which I don’t think even exist anymore but this is where I really developed my love of making beats. For 5 years, I’ve progressively gotten better(in my opinion) and found more motivation in doing so. Eventually, I moved on to a more professional software, FL Studio, where I was able to become more creative with my skills such a making more complex melodies and drum patterns. Making beats, to me, is something that I do to just kill time. I never really look at it as something I would profit off of, just because I believe there really no money in the rap industry for producers due to the fact that  it is now becoming a lost art with the influx of aspiring producers.  

When I entered high school, I immediately knew I wanted to be rich... I mean who doesn’t? But I wanted to make money while making the world a better place and by this desire alone, I settled on the field of computer science. What started as testing the waters in web design and learning the syntax of HTML, my thirst for mastery of computer science grows exponentially everyday. I feel there is so much potential that can be done with the use of computers and it is seen today with the latest inventions such as Virtual Reality, 3D Printing, and so much more. Being a computer science major requires lots of hardwork and analytical thinking that I never really manifested within myself. However, I try my best everyday to overcome my habits of giving up because in computer science, when you’ve been trying to get a program to work and it finally gives, it is like a virgin diving in pussy for the first time. There has been times where I’d just call it quits and go on Twitter until I fall asleep. But upon waking up, I often disappoint myself because I haven’t improved from the day before which is my ultimate goal in life: get better everyday.

The point I’m trying to prove here is that doing what you love or trying something new that you’re interested in can open up unimaginable opportunities for yourself as well as others. For me, making a beat or creating websites has never felt tedious because I enjoy learning from my mistakes and building on the things that I learn. Looking back, I never thought I’d be in the position that I’m in now. I’ve attended several college events based on my willingness to go out a new things one of which includes a 6-week summer program at Cooper Union. My message to you is: GET OFF THAT PHONE AND TAKE YOUR PASSIONS SERIOUSLY!

Nick E. Since I was in 4th grade, I’ve always enjoyed acting and singing, and I’ve grown to develop an insane passion and love for the both of those things. At the time, I joined my middle school’s chorus and the school play, and I never anticipated how much I would begin to learn from these activities. When I first began acting and singing, I experienced a lot of stage fright. My face would get as red as a tomato just from singing or performing in front of my few friends or peers. However, I realized the only way for me to get over this fear was to keep going, and that’s what I did. Going through middle school, I really began to notice how much I loved performing in the school shows and singing. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t give up on it in high school, and I stuck to that.

Maintaining my interest in acting and singing has truly defined who I am as a person. Because of being involved in theatre, I have become a genuinely nicer person, I am much more friendly with everyone, and I’ve gained so many friends I don’t think I would’ve met if it wasn’t for my involvement in theatre. The theatre program at our school is a family, a community, and we all want to see each other succeed. I am extremely thankful that I became involved in theatre, because I have developed my skills in ways I never thought I would be able to, and I’ve met so many amazing people. I will be honest, not so much anymore, but when I would tell people I was involved in theatre or that I act and sing, I wouldn’t always get the best reactions. In middle school, school bullies would target me solely for this reason, and call me “gay” or a “little choir boy” simply because I enjoy doing these things. Even sort of recently, a grown adult asked a parent I know if I was “gay,” solely basing this accusation off of the fact that I’m involved in acting and singing. Obviously, going into all of this, I knew theatre isn’t the typical field of choice for males, but it was my choice, and I still believe it was the best choice I could have ever made. The incredibly supportive people around me in my life have constantly pushed me to achieve my goals, and I think that is one of the major reasons why I never even second guessed my love for acting and singing. I hope one day, when I make my dreams a reality, I can repay them for all they’ve done for me.

I think my experience can really show others that no matter what, pursue what you love. Don’t worry about what other people think, who likes you or doesn’t like you, who supports your decision or who doesn’t; go do whatever you want to do. Whatever makes YOU happy, is what you should look to do in life. As I continue in life, I do not plan on ever giving up acting or singing, because it’s what I love to do. In the future, whatever career you decide to choose, make sure it is something you can enjoy and love doing every day, so “work” doesn’t actually feel like work. If you’re passionate about something, or if you have a dream, hold on to that, and take it for a ride.

Views From HHS Students

Nissim & Ahmed: Hackensack High School is a public school that can be the model for diversity. The building is full of kids from different backgrounds and cultures. I’m sure whatever ethnicity you feel like searching for inside these walls, you could find. The diversity extends farther than ethnicity. The wealth of students ranges greatly. The school parking lot is an interesting place when you realize it’s full of vehicles ranging from expensive 2015 M5 BMW’s to mid 90’s Toyota Corolla’s. Hackensack is impossible to generalize so simply as a “black high school” or a school for “the stupid kids.” & a huge reason for this is where these students are from.

The “Maywood Kids” are stereotyped as the type of kids who enter Hackensack and try to be down with what they think is the hood. The kids who never touched a blunt in they life until they entered those doors. Kids from Maywood swear Hackensack is the ghetto and as soon as they file through those doors, they try their hardest to fit the stereotype as the “typical Hackensack student.” Maywood kids tend to be seen as the “prude, law abiding” type of people and seem to actively show that is not the case. If Maywood kids could forget about their “reputation” maybe they would see that Hackensack is not about reinventing yourself but embracing who they are fully and without a care about what others may think.

The “Hackensack Kids” are the kids that seem to try the hardest to embody that inner city toughness. Kids who want to make Hackensack similar to the hood. Kids who wanna be gangsters but seem to forget they live in the suburbs. The kids who settle for less and take the great opportunities they've been blessed with for granted. The type of kids to succumb to the foolish idea of the ‘trap’ lifestyle that essentially leads nowhere. Hackensack kids need to abandon this epiphany that they are the toughest kids in the school. They feel this way because they are originally from Hackensack, while all the other students are from “white towns”. They need to focus on what’s truly important; they would see they have as much potential as any other person in the school to be a great and successful student.

The “Rochelle Park Kids” are the kids that may seem “weird” to an individual. Rochelle Park kids have a bad reputation but clearly are the special sort. The kids that are often identified as weird because of their quiet mannerisms. A number of kids from this town tend to enjoy anime and other things that attract a certain crowd. Majority of them are unique in their own way, but aren’t given the chance to express and be themselves in the culture of Hackensack High. They remain to themselves and stay in their closed-friend groups. They are generally misunderstood and when someone takes the time to know one, they always say “I would have never guessed you’re from Rochelle Park.” They might not be the most social but they are important to the makeup of Hackensack High School regardless.

The “South Hackensack Kids” are usually the kids with high goals in high school. The kids who enter as a freshman with the mindset that they are going to keep their eye on the prize of graduation and beyond. These are the kids who come off as a little uppity and snobby as usually they solely focus on school or sports. These are the kids who challenge themselves with loads of advanced courses knowing the benefits it will result in. South Hackensack kids could benefit from relaxing a bit. Of course, no one wants them to relax to the point where they taking their eyes off the prize but to relax and not act like their better or smarter then the next person.

*Of course these are our personalize generalizations and not everybody who comes from these towns are as typed as above. These are just the stereotypes everybody uses involuntarily (or voluntarily) as they attend this school. Don’t catch feelings, everything written above was in good humor.

Nissim & Ahmed.